Victoria records 3 new local cases and 0 new overseas cases
New cases reported in the last 24 hours
+3 new local cases:
All three of the locally acquired cases in the community have been identified as primary close contacts of the existing cases in the Mentone and Mitcham clusters.
There are now exposure sites in Albert Park, Bairnsdale, Black Rock, Box Hill South, Brighton, Camberwell, Cape Schank, Caufield, Cheltenham, Doveton, Forest Hill, Fountain Gate Shopping Centre, Hallam, Glen Waverley, Lakes Entrance, Leongatha, Mentone, Mordialloc, Melbourne CBD, Moorabbin, Mount Waverley, Oakleigh, Southbank, and Wonthaggi and we expect this list of exposure site to increase over coming days as contact tracing continues
+0 new overseas cases.
Recap from yesterday:
All 18 of the locally acquired cases in the community have been identified as primary close contacts to the existing cases in the Mentone and Mitcham clusters.
Genomic sequencing results have been received from the samples from the Victorian outbreak, and it has established they are directly linked to the New South Wales cluster.
There are now exposure sites in Black Rock, Brighton, Cape Schank, Cheltenham, Doveton, Forest Hill, Fountain Gate Shopping Centre, Hallam, Glen Waverley, Lakes Entrance, Leongatha, Mentone, Mordialloc, Melbourne CBD, Moorabbin, Mount Waverley, Oakleigh, Southbank, and Wonthaggi and this list of exposure site will increase over coming days as contact tracing continues.
⚠️ There are new case exposure sites, please see information below.
Huge thanks to u/chessc for the summary: Jacinta Allan:
32 active cases
3 new local cases - all linked to Thai cafe cluster
0 new overseas cases
190 testing sites operational in Victoria
Sites open from 8am to 8pm
88% of people receive test results within 24 hours
99.9% of people receive results within 48 hours
All Victorians who have returned from NSW have received text message alert with instructions specific to their circumstances
Allen Cheng:
21 total cases in Thai cafe cluster
Haven't found the source but are investigating several avenues
All genomic testing results (from 10 people) show link to NSW outbreak
220 close contacts in isolation
359 secondary contacts
Expecting more close contacts to test positive in coming weeks
All transmissions so far are at the Thai cafe or in family gatherings
Jeroen Weimar:
DHHS website has details of all testing sites open
35% increase in tests in the south-eastern suburbs yesterday
51 exposure sites listed on website
60,000 people came home from NSW to Victoria on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day
People who are still in NSW and have an urgent need to return to Victoria: exemptions applications are being triaged and will take at least 24 hours to process
Cases to date
Last 24 hours
TOTAL
Confirmed cases
+3
20,391
Active
+3
32
Recovered
+0
19,538
Deaths
+0
820
Community transmission
+0
3,762
Test results received
+22,477
3,929,815
Hospital
+0
0
Active cases breakdown
Last 24 hours
TOTAL
TOTAL
+3
32
Locally acquired
+3
21
Overseas
+0
11
Currently in quarantine (as at 11pm on the 02/01)
Type of resident
In quarantine hotel TOTAL
In health/complex care hotels TOTAL
TOTAL
2,225
145
Returned overseas traveller
1,929
130
Airline crew
69
2
Community*
206
7
Frontline worker
3
0
Voluntary support person
1
6
*includes interstate travellers.
⚠️Case alerts – public exposure sites⚠️
Some points to note:
Please read the pinned stickied note within this post.
If you have visited any of the locations listed in the table below during the date and time indicated you mustget testedimmediately and quarantine for 14 days from the exposure.
Location
Site
Exposure period
Notes
Abbotsford
Bodriggy Brewing Company 245 Johnston Street, Abbotsford VIC 3067
28/12/20 2:50pm-5:30pm
Case dined at venue
Black Rock
Smile Buffalo Thai restaurant 305 Beach Road, Black Rock VIC 3193
21/12/20 7:30pm-9:30pm
Case dined in restaurant
Black Rock
Smile Buffalo Thai restaurant 305 Beach Road, Black Rock VIC 3193
21/12/20 6:30pm-9:40pm
Case dined in restaurant
Black Rock
Smile Buffalo Thai restaurant 305 Beach Road, Black Rock VIC 3193
27/12/20 7.30pm - 9pm
Case dined for dinner
Brighton
Royal Brighton Yacht Club - outdoor dining 253 Esplanade, Brighton VIC 3186
29/12/20 12:00pm-2:00pm
Case dined in outdoor restaurant
Docklands
Melbourne Boat Hire - Yarra River Cruise. 45 Newquay Promenade, Docklands VIC 3008
28/12/2020 11.26am-2:00pm
Case attended venue
Doveton
Holy Family Parish Doveton Catholic 100 Power Road, Doveton VIC 3177
26/12/20 4:00pm-6:00pm
Case attended Spanish Service
Glen Waverley
Village Century City 285-287 Springvale Road, Glen Waverley VIC 3150
28/12/20 2:45pm-5:30pm
Case attended Gold Class screening Wonder Woman 1984
McKinnon
Hotlocks By Rachael Hairdresser, 260 McKinnon Road, McKinnon VIC 3204
23/12/20 4:00pm-6:00pm
Case had hair cut in store
Melbourne
Fonda Mexican Flinders Lane 31 Flinders Lane Melbourne
29/12/20 6:00pm-7:30pm
Case attended restaurant
Melbourne
Melbourne Central Lion Hotel, 211 La Trobe Street
28/12/2020 10pm - 12.30am
Case attended venue
Melbourne
Left Bank Melbourne, 1 Southbank Blvd
25/12/20 12pm - 3pm
Case ate in store
Mordialloc
Woodlands Golf Club - club bar 109 White Street Mordialloc VIC 3195
23/12/20 12:30pm-1:30pm
Case attended club house bar
Mordialloc
Woodlands Golf Club - club bar 109 White Street Mordialloc VIC 3195
Viral fragments have been detected in a sample of wastewater taken from the inlet to the Lakes Entrance wastewater treatment plant on 29 December. The Department of Health and Human Services is urging anyone in the Lakes Entrance area with any coronavirus (COVID-19) symptoms, no matter how mild, to get tested and stay home until they receive their result. Bairnsdale Regional Health Services drive-through testing site is open from 9am to 5pm on New Year’s Day and over the weekend.
NOTE: This is FAKE HOCKEY. To talk about actual hockey, go to the latest Daily Discussion thread Trade Deadline Tonight will continue TONIGHT! The /hockey Trade Deadline Game is back for day 2! Starting today at 8:00 AM MT trading is officially open again. Trading will run until Thursday, January 30th at 6:00 PM MT. You are not late! You can still sign up at http://www.tdgdb.com When you are traded, change your flair on hockey-related subreddits and spend the week from January 31st through February 7th cheering for your new team. Here are this year's reporters, the people who will make things up break news of trade negotiations:
My background: 22 past cruises, over 40 years, on multiple main stream as well as premium cruise lines; with my first cruise which was my honeymoon. My family and I has stayed in an inside cabin all the way up to the Owners Penthouse Suite in cruise line VIP sections. We have paid $500.00 per person all the way up to $5,000.00 per person. That foundation of information is what I am drawing from for this post. First Time Cruisers: The most frequently asked questions on most cruise social media boards, “I am a first-time cruiser, what advise can you give me?” My advice is to take everything you hear and learn while you are researching your first cruise, with a grain of salt. This includes my comments as well. Everyone seems to have a favorite cruise line; a cruise line they hate with a passion; deep ceded opinions on everything from food, service, excursions, investments, how as well as who they book their cruise with and the new notion in main stream cruising of the VIP “Ship-Within-A-Ship” concept. Your reality is, you have nothing to compare your first cruise with. You are an unmolded lump of clay. You are a cruise virgin. As long as your flight is not delay/cancelled, you don’t get sea sick, you don’t get something crazy like food poisoning and or you don’t get hurt somehow; your cruise will be a wonderful memory. As your life goes on, you will reflect on this first cruise with great warmth and gratitude. I know when I think of my first cruise, it was on the then Norwegian, SS Norway (Now called NCL). We had an inside state room, it cost $1,000.00 for both of us including and we thought the service, food, ship, activities and shows were over-the-top, GREAT. I am sure there were issues; however, a human’s mind can positively redesign our memories as PERFECT. Just do your best to organize your thoughts; go with the flow; make your reservations are done early for dinner as well as shows; and don’t get to drunk on night one or night seven. Now that is some good advice. Frequent Cruisers: The most frequently posted topics from folks like us, “Cruising just isn’t like it was in the OLD days.” I am 62 years old, I can’t remember the old days. I can’t even remember what I ate yesterday. Yet I have said those same words and meant them. I, like many others in this category of “Frequent Cruisers” are dealing with a psychological dilemma. This same dilemma happens whenever we buy material thing, every experience we have and every relationship we start. Our rating system is based on the last thing we got or did. Therefore, if I had never cruised before, anything is better then what I know. Because I know nothing. Everything is fresh and new. Everything is exciting and just a little bit dangerous as well as scary. The anticipation of our first cruise was unbearable. When you are a frequent cruiser, these feeling, and emotions unfortunately are not as intense. Sorry, you can’t go back and get those same feelings again. That is why we start inching up in cabin class. First balcony, then mini-suite, suite, suite with a butler and finally the owner’s suite. We want more than we had the last time. Human nature at its worst. This does not mean we all don’t absolutely love to cruise, quite the contrary. We just approach it with a much different approach and strategy. We want better food, service, shows experience, activities and relationships. Some of our expectations simply can not be met. This is when the real issues begin. I read a lot of negative comments on Reddit referring to the people on CruiseCritics.com. The references are that those CruiseCritics.com folks are always so down on the MANY cruises they go on. They all come across as the “Most Important Person on the Cruise”. They establish themselves as the expert on everything and get angry when anyone challenges their high fluent attitude. I am an honored member of CruiseCritics.com. I can see how different social media platforms can be critical of CruiseCritics.com. Yet those whom frequent cruiseCritics.com are looking for a different level of information. This is usually because most of them are frequent cruisers for decades. Not all, most and this is my opinion. The real positive here, all social media, blogs and cruise site offer a view that assists in making future and expensive decisions like; cruise lines, cabin categories, specialty restaurants, shows and excursions. Just like with survey analysis, throw out the bad and the great. Look at what the middle 80% say and you will get a great consensus. The Path to the Perfect Cruise Experience: In this next section, it come from my experience. You may agree or disagree. Regardless, my last few cruises have been outstanding. The approach goes like this: · Attitude: If you go on a cruise with a bad attitude, just skip the cruise. I have done it and I knew I was setting the entire week up to be a huge failure. If you get on board and something happens badly right away, let it go. An example was a cruise on the Celebrity Equinox a few years ago. We were staying in the very expensive “Celebrity Suite”. I plan details to a level of sickness. Every “T” is crossed; every “I” is dotted. It drives my family nuts. On day one, before the cruise even began, we were escorted to the Suites lounge while our rooms were getting ready. The Suite Lounge Concierge informed me that neither my wife or I had the Adult Drink Package. She suggested because we had a third in our room, the drink package was most likely no longer a perk. I got really upset, fast. I stewed in my seat for 30-minutes while the Concierge check the issue. She came back and said, it was fixed and it was the cruise lines fault. My attitude was shot for the entire cruise. Expensive lesson learned on attitude control. · Pre-Plan: Your family will fight you one this. They will say, “You are planning to much, just go with the flow, dad. This is a vacation and you are stressing out about the smallest items.” Have you heart those quotes? Well guess who they yell at when they can’t get a reservation before 10:00 PM at a specialty restaurant. Who gets criticized when there is no more room in the shows. Not the bad shows; the good shows. Who starts to cry at the airport because you attempted to fly to your cruise the morning of the cruise and your flight is either cancelled or delayed. Whose luggage does not get to the room because they did not use a high-end luggage tag that the animals at the airlines can’t rip off. Who gets turned away at the port because their passport will expire soon, they are to far along in their pregnancy or they are openly sick. This is why, I pre-plan like it will be my last trip of my life time. · Learn about the cruise Bull Shit and Prepare for IT: · Nickle and Diming by the Cruise Line: Be prepared and don’t let it bother you. Can’t knock the cruise line for attempting to improve their profits. o On day one, have your cabin steward take every single item out of the room that cost extra. o If you get a spa treatment, tell the masseuse you only want the massage you ordered and not the upgraded “Special Massage” that has special creams and hot rocks. I simply DON’T use cruise spa’s any more. o Tell you matradee in the restaurant, that you DO NOT want the chiefs table special meal that cost more than the cruise itself and is just as good as the meal being served. Cut these folks off, even before they get started. o Skip the daily specialty drinks in the take home souvenir glass. The drink sucks and the glass will be in your next garage sale. o Know that if you buy a drink, spa treatment, or many special services; the tip is already put on your tab. Yet there is a place for an additional tip. Tricky. · Lounge Chair Hogs: These folks are famous internationally. Everyone has experienced them. It holds true with the best location of Lounge Chairs by the pool and seats in the theatre for the best shows. They wake up at 05:30 AM and put their towels, beach bags and sometime humorously elaborate signage on a chair. Don’t get mad, get even. If a pool lounge chair has not been used in 15 minutes, move their stuff neatly off the chair and put it under it. The cruise line says they are going to do this, but they don’t want to piss off their passengers. If the passenger comes back and gives you any lip; just say it is cruise line policy and take it up with customer services. Since my wife does not like conflict, yet I am up for it anytime; I think we are all being wronged by these lounge chair hogs. My plan is even more effective yet, also much more expensive. I book Suites, in the VIP area; that have private pools, sun decks, hot tubs, restaurants and bars. Problem completely solved. One such “Ship-Within-A-Ship” VIP area is called the NCL Haven. Most cruise lines have these exclusive area’s now. · Rude Children in the Pools and Hot tubs: Want to get into a fight with another passenger; criticize their kid. Go ahead, I double dare you. These kids are not the issue it is their parents attitude that the pool or hot tub area is the parents personal baby sitter. This even happens in the VIP area’s like the NCL Haven. The solution is most cruise lines have adult only pool areas. Go there. In the VIP Haven, NCL finally got the point. Their newest ship, the Encore, has a three level VIP Haven Area. The top level is adults only; has the best view; has two huge hot tubs and a cigar smoking lounge on the nose of the ship. I will happily pay the premium · Drinks at the Pool or your Favorite Bar On-Board: You are NOT going to like this one. So, You-Do-You. Don’t let your significate other attempt to get an adult beverage from the pool bar, simply don’t do it. Today, most cruise lines give the standard adult drink package as a free perk. A higher percentage of all passenger have this package. Everyone wants to get their monies worth, from start to finish. Here is a simple solution to a complicated problem. Find a pool server, introduce him/her to your significant other and give the server a $10.00 tip in cash, on day one. Problem solved. Can’t get a drink at your favorite bar. Not me, they are all over me. Why, I find my favorite bar tender and give him a $20.00 tip on day-one? From that point forward, they call me “Mr. Gary” and all I need to do with them is eye contact. · Want a GREAT Steak, Chops or Prime Rib: Before or after you cruise, take your family to Ruth Chris; Perry’s; Flemings or the Capital Grill. You will NOT get a GREAT steak even in the Steak House Specialty Restaurant on the ship. Will it be good to average, YES. GREAT NO. I refuse to go to the cruise lines Steakhouse any more. Instead, if I have a specialty restaurant package, I go to the French, Seafood, BBQ, Japanese or Fusion Restaurants. You have been forewarned. · Shows Especially the Crew Shows: Some of these shows are the worst. So, if you want to leave early, yet you are sitting in the middle of the aisle or the front row, it is awkward. New strategy, sit in the last row on the aisle. You can exit anytime you want. Recently on the NCL Getaway sailing, my wife and I did just that strategy. We are frequent cruisers, you know. The shows name was “Burn the Floor”. From the start to the finish, this way one of the best shows I have seen on a cruise ship. I am very critical and picky. My wife was the first to give a standing ovation. That was incredible. Will I change my seating strategy in the future, NOPE. Every seat is a great seat in these theatre’s. Extra incentive, you are closer to exit, bathroom and bar. · Casino, Deal or no Deal, Bingo: Enough said!!!!!!! They make lots of money for the cruise line. Well, there you have it. The best approach to the PERFECT next Cruise. Feel free to comment and ask me anything (ama). If you are rude with your comments, I will simply not answer you. If you disagree, make your case so folks can comment back. You have the right to have your own opinion. Happy cruising.
55 of some of the best quotes from the series ranked, with episode marked
No. 55: Scott's Tots - Season 6, Episode 12 "I've made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, that was the most generous." – Michael No. 54: The Incentive - Season 8, Episode 2 "Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick." - Kevin No. 53: Initiation - Season 3, Episode 3 "I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like Pretzel Day." - Stanley No. 52: Viewing Party - Season 7, Episode 8 "I’ll raise it all I want. I’ll raise the roof!" - Erin No. 51: Turf War - Season 8, Episode 23 "Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis'd, debutante. You want to start a street fight with me bring it on but you're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets, you don't even know my real name- I'm the fucking lizard king!" - Robert No. 50: Pilot - Season 1, Episode 1 "Am I going to tell them? No, I am not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer." - Michael No. 49: New Guys - Season 9, Episode 1 "There are two things that I am passionate about. Recycling and revenge." - Andy No. 48: Branch Closing - Season 3, Episode 7 "I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame." - Angela No. 47: The List - Season 8, Episode 1 "When I was a salesman I could just be like “Not my job, not my prob. I’m going to the warehouse to polish my knob.” Metaphorically, of course. But now, it is my job and my prob." - Andy No. 46: Company Picnic - Season 6, Episode 28 (actually an exchange) "Damn it, Michael, I told you that in confidence. Now I have to go over and deal with these employees and their families. A little boy just walked up to me and said, "is my daddy gonna have a job by Christmas?" - David No. 45: Vandalism - Season 9, Episode 14 "Normally, I find Pam to be a comforting, if unarousing, presence around the office. Like a well-watered fern. But, today, she has tapped into this vengeful, violent side. And I'm like, wow, Pam has kind of a good butt." - Dwight No. 44: Happy Hour - Season 6, Episode 19 "Yeah, I love going to bars with Bob. I tend to wear something low-cut, get men to flirt with me, and Bob beats 'em up. What?" - Phyllis No. 43: Inner Circle - Season 7, Episode 23 "No matter how many times I reach out to Dwight, he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. It reminds me of my relationship with my son. Except there, I'm the Dwight." - Deangelo No. 42: The Carpet - Season 2, Episode 14 "You know what? I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. The only thing that makes any sense." - Michael No. 41: Classy Christmas - Season 7, Episodes 11 & 12 "In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas." - Dwight No. 40: Business Trip - Season 5, Episode 8 "Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not because of the paycheck. 'Cause I could be making more money as a doctor or a professional athlete. I think it's because they respect me. A boss that will not fire you, even though you just tell him off. Rright to his face. Over the phone. That's respect." - Michael No. 39: Trivia - Season 8, Episode 11 "Corporate says to me, “Gabe, we need you in Scranton.” Scranton says, “Gabe, go back down to Florida. You're needed there.” So, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm up there. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I'm down here. I can think of no better way to confront my deathly fear of flying." - Gabe No. 38: The Search - Season 7, Episode 15 "Holly is ruining Michael's life. He thinks she is so special. And she's so not. Her personality is like a 3. Her sense of humor is a 2. Her ears are like a 7and a 4. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she's a perfect 40. It's nuts." - Erin No. 37: Christmas Party - Season 2, Episode 10 "Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for these people and they freak out. Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." - Michael No. 36: The Client - Season 2, Episode 7 "Yes, I have acted before. I was in a production of "Oklahoma" in the seventh grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids, so they made up roles like that. I was good." - Dwight No. 35: A.A.R.M - Season 9, Episode 22 "Not enough for me? You are everything." - Jim No. 34: Frame Toby - Season 5, Episode 9 "NOOOO!!!! GOD! No, God, please no! No! No! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" - Michael No. 33: Counseling - Season 7, Episode 2 "This is the worst! You are the worst! I hate looking at your face! I wanna smash it!" - Michael No. 32: Murder - Season 7, Episode 10 "Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Michael from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one." - Jim No. 31: Sex Ed - Season 7, Episode 4 "No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge." - Dwight No. 30: The Coup - Season 3, Episode 3 "Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also weak arms." - Dwight No. 29: Michael's Last Dundies - Season 7, Episode 21 "The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in, and do his show, and, that way, Larry lives on." - Michael No. 28: Night Out - Season 4, Episode 11 "There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "What if you die Dwight, how will we get into the office?" He said, "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks." - Pam No. 27: The Fight - Season 2, Episode 6 "Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael No. 26: Beach Games - Season 3, Episode 22 "If either of these guys are put in charge of the office I will transfer to Albany. Gil can come if he wants. I'm kinda looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see." - Oscar No. 25: Product Recall - Season 3, Episode 20 "Check out this sunshine, man. Global warming, right?" - Andy No. 24: Launch Party - Season 4, Episode 3 "If you tell me, that I have to drive back to Scranton, to the satellite party, I am going to throw up! Okay I'm going to throw up. I'm throwing up. You're making me throw up, Ryan." - Michael No.23: Sexual Harassment - Season 2, Episode 2 "That's what she said!" - Michael No. 22: Money - Season 4, Episode 4 "I declare, BANKRUPTCY!!!" - Michael No. 21: Email Surveillance - Season 2, Episode 9 "I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections. There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we are down river from that old bread factory." - Dwight No. 20: Weight Loss - Season 5, Episodes 1 & 2 "What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went -- I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years." - Michael No. 19: A Benihana Christmas - Season 3, Episode 10 "Once I brought in a duck. To prepare for lunch. And people got upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck and didn't want to see it killed." - Dwight No. 18: The Dundies - Season 2, Episode 1 "No, no. because the ice melts and then it's like second drink!" - Pam No. 17: Garage Sale - Season 7, Episode 19 "No. I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story. Mhm hm. Should have burned this place down when I had the chance." - Michael No. 16: Goodbye Toby - Season 4, Episode 14 "Today is Toby Flenderson's last day. I couldn't sleep last night. I came extra-early. So much energy... There are certain days you know you know you will remember for the rest of your life, and I just have a feeling that today is one of those days." - Michael No. 15: Threat Level Midnight - Season 7, Episode 17 "I gave up a lot of weekends because I thought it'd be good for my daughter to see a black man as president. Even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time." - Daryl No. 14: The Injury - Season 2, Episode 12 "I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill."- Jim No. 13: The Duel - Season 5, Episode 12 "Rule 17: don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season. There are forty rules all Schrute boys must learn before the age of five. Learn your rules. You better learn your rules. If you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep." - Dwight No 12: The Negotiation - Season 3, Episode 18 "When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more." - Karen No.11: Diversity Day - Season 1, Episode 2 "How come Chris Rock can do a routine and everybody finds it hilarious and ground-breaking and then I go and do the exact same routine, same comedic timing, and people file a complaint to Corporate? Is it because I'm white and Chris is black?" - Michael No. 10: Niagara - Season 6, Episodes 4&5 "For a really long time that's all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife." - Jim No. 9: The Convict - Season 3, Episode 9 "The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They... were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they'd come down, and they'd suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!" - Prison Mike No. 8: Stress Relief - Season 5, Episodes 13 & 14 "Well, ya know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself. Ever. And one time, I walked in on him naked, and his thing is so small. If it were an iPod it would be a shuffle!" - Pam No. 7: Casino Night - Season 2, Episode 22 "I don't really play cards, but I’m not gonna lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael. Gonna chase that feeling." - Toby No. 6: Safety Training - Season 3, Episode 19 "DWIGHT, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!" - Michael No. 5: Goodbye Michael - Season 7, Episode 22 "Well, I'm moving to Colorado to start my new life with Holly. Just up here, getting used to the altitude." - Michael No. 4: Gay Witch Hunt - Season 3, Episode 1 "I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '60s I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain... and it's possible a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing." - Creed No. 3: Fun Run - Season 4, Episode 1 "Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make." - Michael No. 2: Dinner Party - Season 4, Episode 9 "Kind of an oaky afterbirth" - Michael Finale - Season 9, Episode 23 "The weird thing is now I'm exactly where I want to be. I've got my dream job at Cornell, and I'm still just thinking about my old pals. Only now they're the ones I made here. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days, before you've actually left them. Someone should write a song about that." - Andy
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